Good Girl - Two Word That Make Me Weak at the Knees

I have been obsessed with the song Blurred Lines ever since I first heard it. The tune was catchy, his voice was nice but there was definitely something else about it that just grabbed me. I always have that with music - for me, it's the words - and I know straight away if I'm loving it or it's going to be OK or whatever.

At first, I couldn't figure out what it was I liked about it. It's fairly simple and I quite like something a little heavier, something I can brood over. Mumford and Sons has a song that describes this well:

And the darkness can descend,
We can relish all the pain.
But I know that's what you love,
Cause you know I love the same…"

- Mumford and Sons, Where Are You Now

I relish the pain. I like it. I'm drawn to it and it's usually how I connect with people. But here was this simple song and I finally - finally - figured it out. Yes, I'm a little slow.

It was the good girl reference. When he sings 'you're a good girl', it just speaks to me, makes my belly go all soft and really just makes me want to sit up and pay attention and do whatever he says. I'm submissive by nature and this just hits a button - it's a total trigger.

I'm not going to get all broody now - instead I'm off to listen to the song one more time. Maybe do a little dance in my kitchen - consider yourselves lucky you don't have to witness that. I've linked the video above so if you click on the song title, you can enjoy it right along with me. 

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One Year In Publishing

I just realized I have an anniversary this week. Pierced, my first short story, was published this month last year. I was on vacation at the time and only had internet access in this one place by the front office of the B&B. I remember going to check it that morning (then 100 times that day) and seeing my book out there. It was very cool. 

It's funny, if I read my older work now, I'm kind of embarrassed! I think a lot of authors must feel that way. Pierced was a fun, sexy story; a total fantasy that was inspired by a tattoo parlor I passed daily on my way to Dutch lessons. The hero didn't really look like that in real life but I've got this fantastically vivid imagination, especially when it comes to anything erotic.

I've learned some lessons in the last year. I've made mistakes but I've also landed just where I was meant to be in some cases so I thought I'd share my top 5 learnings. 

1. Research for publishers in your niche market. This is key. Start by looking at books you like to read - most likely you write similar stories. Find out who publishes these books, talk to authors, see how positive (or negative) they are about their publishers and then do more research. There are a lot of publishing options out there and they take some time to learn. Take the time, you'll be glad you did later. 

2. Ask questions before signing the contract. Ask a lot of them and pay attention to how responsive the publisher is. This is just as important as the answers they give - maybe more so. Talk to other authors and don't be afraid to ask for time to consider before signing, especially if you're not 100%.

3. Find other authors who write what you write. This will develop over time and you'll find your core group, but interact and make friends. They can be an invaluable resource and your ultimate support during difficult times. I've made some really wonderful, generous, supportive friends on line - and it takes trust to earn trust, but I think this is one of the best parts.

4.  Find your niche market. Did I mention this already? Write an excellent book then put it in front of people who will be interested in buying and reading it. 

5.  Be patient. I know, this one is the most difficult and way easier to say than to do. After you've written your book, edited, found a publisher, edited some more and finally have it out there, leave it and get to the next book. Everything takes time so check your expectations and don't get down if you don't hit the bestseller list on your first try. It may come, it may not, but write because you love what writing does to you. All the rest of it is icing, not necessary but absolutely lovely.

6. Be generous and happy for the success of others. What you put out comes back to you twofold. 

That was six things but that last one is important. It's easy to get caught up. Things will go up and down again and again - everything changes, it's the nature of things. Remember what's important and remember who you are. 

Wishing you much success. 

x

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The Elegance of Submission

I think I'm not alone in thinking The Story of O is a sort of bible to this genre of writing. Even outside of this genre, it's one of the most elegant books I've ever read. The words are pure sensuality and their meaning so much more than what you gather at first glance. The book sits on my bedside table, its simple white cover with the title in black block letters, and every now and again I pick it up to re-read. Every time, I feel like it's my first time.

One of the most erotic scenes from The Story of O is toward the beginning when O's lover brings her to Sir Stephen's apartments. He has her undress then displays her over the ottoman to present her to Sir Stephen. I still remember O's thoughts as she submits, her feelings as the men discuss her as if she weren't there. Then when she is told to stay as she is while Sir Stephen shows her lover out and she does, remaining exposed and vulnerable without being bound but choosing to submit, it is just incredible, beautiful, highly arousing but so much more. In this short scene, so elegantly written, I felt sensation upon sensation. It was so well done that I even remember the tiny detail of the ash of Sir Stephen's cigarette falling on O's breast a few moments later.

I write about submission an awful lot because it's so completely erotic for me. It's more than an orgasm could ever be, it's more than the act of spanking or any other act, it's somehow, simply, complete. Does that make sense at all?

I leave you with this beautiful piece of pure sensuality from The Story of O...

“Keep me rather in this cage, and feed me sparingly, if you dare. Anything that brings me closer to illness and the edge of death makes me more faithful. It is only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure. You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god, and we know that they are not as tender as all that. You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears.”

                                                                                                                       -Pauline Reage

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I Spank My Wife!

My husband and I were having dinner with some friends whom we hadn't seen in a few months last night. We met up on our vacations at a middle point and it's always really great to see them. We were sitting outside at a fairly crowded restaurant and after a couple bottles of wine, we were sort of loud. Our kids are already loud so we just added to the noise! 

Out of nowhere, I mean really nowhere, our friend just out of the blue blurts out that he spanks his wife! Then he starts laughing and she's sort of looking at him and laughing and I'm looking at my husband and he's looking at me and we're laughing that 'oh shit' sort of laugh. 

For a moment - just caught up in it all - I was going to blurt out "we do too and I write spanking romance!" I could just see my face saying it - then pictured my husband's face if I'd said it, then our friends faces…Needles to say, I kept my mouth shut. Didn't want to walk an elephant into the middle of the restaurant, you know? Makes you wonder though how many people are closet spankos, you know? 

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Submission as a Gift

I think bondage is hot, restraints are hot, being made to submit is hot (in fiction or consensually in real life). But there's nothing like taking your punishment. Nothing like bending over without the need to be held down, and offering yourself to him. It warms me just thinking about it.

I've been writing a bit more DD oriented stuff lately. Or at least a form of it where the heroine is punished when the hero decides she's broken a rule or put herself in danger or just disobeyed.

In Taken by the Beast and now in Captive's Desire, the spankings have been more disciplinary in nature rather than erotic. Although for me, it's always erotic but I'm sitting behind my computer screen typing away on my keyboard when the hard spanking is going on so easy to say maybe. 

---

"Relax your body. Stop fighting, take your punishment and it will be over."

For me, during these scenes I have a theme. It's the "take your punishment without having to be held down, submit to it, to me". And also a favorite line. I can't remember and I hope I edited it out of the current manuscript. I'm not going to tell you what it is- see if you can find it in case it's still there.

Back to the submission piece. Submission is given. It can never be taken. I hope as the stories have progressed, I've been able to show the trust that grows between the characters to the point where the heroine truly submits to the hero, trusting him, giving herself to his keeping and finding bliss there.

I'm not sharing an excerpt today because I was told I'm winding some people up and walking away at a crucial moment. I believe I was called a tease even… today, it's just a pretty picture…enjoy and thanks to everyone for dropping by.

“I hope I don’t need to remind you again that you’ll be absolutely still and take your punishment without a sound except for the count.”

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The Drive By Judge

Yesterday I had my first unfriendly comment on a my blog. I've been at this for almost a year so it's not bad, right? It was on an old post (Figging Gabrielle) and I was just absolutely not expecting it and for a moment, didn't know what to do. Actually, that's not true - my first reaction was 'how do I fix this'? As if I had done something wrong. 

The comment - I deleted it but it's still in my edit folders so here it is "Anybody who will let themselves be tortured is nuts and I am nuts for reading this crap.SMH"

First, I had to look up SMH which means Shaking My Head. Then I re-read it and just above that comment was one from Rogue that I'd also missed but that was a nice one so I read the rude one again. And of course, I looked up who it was. Do people know we can see where they are and how long they are spending on our sites by the way? We can…

Anyhow, I got over my 'how do I fix this' fast - which is a HUGE thing for me. For a long time (most of my life), I'd just assume I was the party in the wrong, you know? Doubting myself and all that BS. I'm a whole lot better about that these days. 

I then started to write a reply - and as I believe in energy, both positive and negative. I stopped myself. No need to open a door for confrontation or negativity even if my own reply was a 'Live and let live. Don't judge what you don't understand.' So I let it go and it got me thinking about us, about our little community here. 

I have found some truly wonderful, honest friends who share this kink. And even those I don't know I've learned are kind. I think - even though we are human still - we are less judgmental, less quick to condemn someone or something. I appreciate that community, that safety, that honesty and that intelligence so very much and am grateful to be a part of this group. 

So for all the drive by judges out there - I wish upon you the gift of understanding, of kindness and friendliness. We're all human beings doing the best we can and we all have hearts and feelings and we're all in this together whether we like it or not. In the words of Pema Chodron "Don't let the world harden your heart."

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