Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

I was in a shop on Friday and heard the song Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey. I love her voice but don't love all her music. When I heard this though, oh wow, I stayed in the shop until the song was over. I didn't buy anything though - I wanted a new dress but sadly saw nothing. 

When I got home, I put the song on again (love Spotify) - and again - and again… I'm kind of obsessive. So here's to saying goodbye.

First, goodbye to summer. We've had an amazing summer here in Holland which I thought would never happen. Hardly any rain for six weeks. Went to the beach for the last time this season and it was really wonderful and I'm ok to say goodbye now as it's been so beautiful.

Another goodbye - this one is a really good one. I had written an e-mail to a friend and he questioned something I had said in that message. It was something about shame - shame at my kink. He questioned that and as soon as he did, I realized it was an old sentence. An old shame and it didn't fit anymore. I no longer felt or feel ashamed about my kink. In fact, I am starting to think people will prefer me to stop talking about it! Ah well, I've been silent so long I've got some making up to do. 

So, to shame I say: I don't know when you left, but I'm glad you did. Wait, to put a positive spin on it - I'm glad you changed into something other than what you were.

I feel like I had something else to say goodbye to but kids are around as I write this, someone's baking a cake, I'm trying to listen to my song, and I must go. Have a lovely Sunday.

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The Drive By Judge

Yesterday I had my first unfriendly comment on a my blog. I've been at this for almost a year so it's not bad, right? It was on an old post (Figging Gabrielle) and I was just absolutely not expecting it and for a moment, didn't know what to do. Actually, that's not true - my first reaction was 'how do I fix this'? As if I had done something wrong. 

The comment - I deleted it but it's still in my edit folders so here it is "Anybody who will let themselves be tortured is nuts and I am nuts for reading this crap.SMH"

First, I had to look up SMH which means Shaking My Head. Then I re-read it and just above that comment was one from Rogue that I'd also missed but that was a nice one so I read the rude one again. And of course, I looked up who it was. Do people know we can see where they are and how long they are spending on our sites by the way? We can…

Anyhow, I got over my 'how do I fix this' fast - which is a HUGE thing for me. For a long time (most of my life), I'd just assume I was the party in the wrong, you know? Doubting myself and all that BS. I'm a whole lot better about that these days. 

I then started to write a reply - and as I believe in energy, both positive and negative. I stopped myself. No need to open a door for confrontation or negativity even if my own reply was a 'Live and let live. Don't judge what you don't understand.' So I let it go and it got me thinking about us, about our little community here. 

I have found some truly wonderful, honest friends who share this kink. And even those I don't know I've learned are kind. I think - even though we are human still - we are less judgmental, less quick to condemn someone or something. I appreciate that community, that safety, that honesty and that intelligence so very much and am grateful to be a part of this group. 

So for all the drive by judges out there - I wish upon you the gift of understanding, of kindness and friendliness. We're all human beings doing the best we can and we all have hearts and feelings and we're all in this together whether we like it or not. In the words of Pema Chodron "Don't let the world harden your heart."

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