Rituals

I love 8:31 am. That's just a minute after the school bell has rung calling all the lovelies inside and I can head back home - to peace. I love that moment of absolute silence, complete stillness, when I'm alone again. After a few moments, I pour a cup of tea, sometimes I listen to Krishna Das and, if I'm not feeling terribly lazy, practice a little yoga. I light a candle then I just sit. It's lovely.

Silence has a sound. A very specific sound. I used to think it came from outside but the longer I'm at this, the more I realize it's coming from inside. And it doesn't change. As much as things change around me, weather, people, feeling up or feeling down - any of it - that silence doesn't change. It's always there and it's always the same and I can rely on it always being there and always being the same. 

Then it's time to get behind my computer and actually write. I can think of a hundred ways to put it off - Facebook, email, checking my Amazon stats because truly, I'm a slave to it. It's awful. But at some point, I just have to sit down and write. I know why I put it off - it's because I'm afraid I won't be able to do it.

At this moment, I'm working on a book I've wanted to write for as long as I can remember. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever tried to write. No, not probably, it is. It's a little darker, it pushes a little more. It pushes me a little more too. I don't know if it will ever see the light of day and if it does, it could be awful, but I just have to do it. Ah, anyway, I'm putting off writing now too. See that? So I'm off…

I'm going to rename my blog Random Ramblings and Spankings…

Thanks for reading. Have a lovely Friday and enjoy the weekend all.